Perfectionism

There are some of Katie's struggles that  I find hard to connect to the SPD, and this is one of them.  One of the reasons I still wonder if I shouldn't have her in for further evaluation somewhere.  So, other professionals reading this, let me know what you think.

Katelyn sometimes holds herself to a very high standard of perfection on certain tasks, and then completely loses it if/when she makes a mistake.  Take valentines, for instance.  Katie was so excited to pick out cards for her first valentine's exchange, and the day the class list came home she sat down immediately to begin writing in the names.  Katie actually has quite good handwriting for kindergarten, and for a child with SPD, whose fine motor skills are often poor.  But, inevitably, she would get the first few letters too big and not have room for a last letter, or decided a certain letter didn't look the way it should, and her world was fit to end right then and there.  Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued.  She'd throw down the pen and scatter the cards, crying that it was "all ruined now" and she'd "never do this right, never!".  Thank goodness we had more cards than we needed, because she could not be convinced that any of the mistakes were salvageable with a little correction, but had to start over on them completely after a good 30+ minute cooling off period.

Same sort of reaction last week when she drew pictures for her dad, step-mom and step-brothers to take to them when they went for the weekend.  She made one for each, though they were not as elaborate as some of her usual drawings, and sure enough on the last one there was a spelling mishap!  Tears, tearing and crumpling of the offending paper ensued before she could be calmed and induced to try again, but then she'd lost the marker she'd been using, and none of the other colors would do, as they would not match, so she melted into a puddle again!  Good old Melanie finally found the original color, and all was sorted in the end for delivery the next morning.  But, about half an hour into our drive up north there is an ear piercing screech from the back seat, the cause of which cannot be immediately deciphered through all the crying, but turns out to be that she has somehow forgotten one of the pictures at home and it is an inconsolable loss.  We remedy the situation with a quick stop at the nearest store for paper and markers, and the universe is in balance again, after a few more stifled sobs.

I don't know why she is so hard on herself this way sometimes, but it is the most heartbreaking thing you'd ever want to see.  The level of anxiety she lives with on a daily basis is just so much higher than most kids her age, and I don't know how to help her.